I heard on CBC Radio today that Canada’s crime rate is lower than it has been since 1973. After a lot of speculating on the causes of that, some guy being interviewed (can’t remember his name or what he does) said that the fact that our population is aging has little to do with this reduced incidence of crime.

I say BALONEY to that!

I’m 60 years old, and I have considered making a career change to bank robbery. After careful consideration, however, I decided against it. I mean, really – with high blood pressure and arthritis in my right knee, could I stand the stress, and could I make it to a getaway car in a reasonable amount of time?

Worse yet, even if I managed to make my way into a cash-rich vault, would I remember why I was there? I have visions of the police finding me writing my grocery list on the back of a deposit slip.

And if I remembered why I was there and stole a lot of money, would I remember where the getaway car was, or where I live?

People, people, people – criminals are aging with the rest of us. They’re not some special breed of humans with razor-sharp memories and springy joints that still behave the way they did 20 years ago. Crime has slowed down because criminals have slowed down. Seems logical to me.

And that, folks, is why CBC Radio has never offered me my own show. 🙁

Now I’m hungry for baloney.