- Sit with my beloved family members who have already passed and have a mouth-watering meal cooked by my mother, Aunt Mary, and my brother-in-law Pat (he’s in charge of meatballs).
- Sit and smoke cigars with Mark Twain while we have a long chin-wag about literature.
- Find out the entire truth about JFK – who shot him, whether the person acted alone, etc.
- Sing with Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin, Edith Piaf, Nat King Cole, and Billie Holiday (not necessarily at the same time, although it might be interesting).
- Dance with Michael Jackson (this is my fantasy; it could happen).
- Perform skit comedy with Red Skelton, Gilda Radner, and Madeline Kahn (maybe we could be on a celestial version of the Ed Sullivan Show)
- Hang out with George Harrison and John Lennon (unless Yoko shows up – she’s too weird for me).
- Discuss religion and atheism with Christopher Hitchins.
- Have tea with the Brontë Brontë sisters, Charles Dickens, and George Eliot.
- Bunk with Estelle Getty, Rue McClanahan, and Beatrice Arthur until Betty White gets there (I could play the role of Rose in that Golden Girls production, no problem).
- Have Johnny Carson interview me and George Carlin on the same show.
- Perform “Rinse the Blood off my Toga” with Johnny Wayne and Frank Shuster (I want to be the one who says, “I tole ‘im, Julie, don’t go!”).
- Spend time with Erma Bombeck talking about husbands, kids, etc., so I can let her know how much her sense of humour influenced mine.
- Punch Pat Robertson in the nose (if I die first, I’ll wait).
THAT’S IT FOR NOW … stay tuned for more stuff I want to do after I die.